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Breezy Bytes: Weber State, stop being so in love with me

As my senior year at Weber State swiftly approaches, I have come to the conclusion that WSU is in love with me.

Let me explain. I will, hopefully, be graduating this spring semester with my bachelor’s degree — an amazing accomplishment that I even question how I pulled off sometimes. As the new school year is rapidly upon us, some students are trying to cram in as much fun as possible, while I’m just excited for school to start.

However, there have been some complications due to Weber State’s love for me.

How do I know that Weber State is in love with me? I present to you the following three examples of Lady Wildcat trying to steal my heart.

1. When I came to Weber as a freshman, I was amazed at all the amazing things to be had. All of my classes seemed to fall perfectly in place, my books were light in my backpack, and my heart was happy to be learning. I even smiled at the religious guy with the whiteboard once, and he smiled back! It is as if Weber reached out and gave me a beautiful — what I took to be platonic — hug.

2. As things between Weber State and I progressed, I seemed to be in a happy, caring relationship. As my junior year rolled around, Weber State gave me more and more opportunities. I was a president of a club and in student leadership. It looked as though Weber State programming and I were getting pretty close. I had a wonderful year.

Now, this last point is a little hard to see the love in, so let me preface it by saying that relationships, when they are not meant to last forever, run their course and both parties move on. When one person in the relationship is not ready for the relationship to end, they might do things to hopefully prolong said relationship. Such ways of sabotaging the other partner to move on with life include proposing, faking an illness, being needy or making sure that person can’t leave you.

3. In a desperate attempt to keep me, Weber State has meddled with my financial aid process. Now, as fellow students, I’m sure most of you understand how having financial aid makes or breaks your ability to attend school at all. Now, if I had just received my financial aid, I would be on my way to graduating and ultimately breaking up with Weber State. I had filed my financial aid exactly as I had the prior years, yet this year I reached some bumps. I had to do all these extra things, and now my loans may not come in time for fall semester, forcing me to find another way or prolong my time here. Now, some of you may be upset, but I find it a tad endearing that Weber State loves me so much to attempt to sabotage my chances of graduation.

On the other hand, I’m quite upset. I will find a way to move on, just like I have from all my other clingy relationships. However much Weber State is starting to resemble my ex-boyfriend, I accept your challenge. Just keep it classy, Weber State. I don’t want this to end ugly.

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