Whimsical Wildcat: Thanks for the life lessons, Miley

I’m sure it’s not news to you that Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana and Billy Ray’s daughter (some of you are probably wondering who Billy Ray is), made a fool of herself Sunday night on cable television at the MTV Video Music Awards with her lewd acts on stage as she practically dry-humped some guy who was dressed like a Davis County inmate. I guess they call this guy Robin Thicke. Based on several headlines I saw, I guess these lewd acts are called twerking nowadays.

Forgive me for not knowing what twerking is. They say you learn something new every day. Thanks, Ms. Cyrus.

Is it really any wonder why so many people from all over the world hate Americans? We engulf ourselves in such forged fame and place such high value on people like Billy Ray Cyrus’ daughter, who sold her soul to Disney at the age of 13 and continues to embarrass the American people on the world stage. She’s not the only one, either. Every day, tabloids and national headlines are filled with pointless headlines that mean nothing and, in all reality, diminish our overall intelligence.

Meanwhile, throughout the world, chemical weapons are being used to kill people by the masses in a Syrian civil war in which the U.S. may be on the verge of intervening. Nuclear waste is leaking into the ocean in Japan. The United States’ poverty levels are soaring, and our education system, thus our future of competing in the global market, is being challenged.

All of this, and we’re caught up on twerking. The fact that I am even writing this tells me there is something horribly wrong in society. It appears as if we are too asphyxiated relieving the pain of real life by smothering it with bonbons and soft-core porn on MTV.

Maybe we could look at this event in a different context. MTV could really be promoting an upcoming reality show promoting fitness by twerking called “Miley Twerks” or “Teach Me How to Twerk, Miley.” It would be especially fun if this program featured the art of twerking and its many forms. If this was the case, I may be more open to the idea of what happened the other night at the VMAs.

See, we could all use some good-quality fitness and a wide range of art in our lives, especially me. I don’t know about you, but I am personally tired of the having the stigma of being a fat, lazy American (even though I am). I don’t think that having people on TV twerking all up on it on television will benefit us as a society in any way, nor will it allow us to progress as a strong, smart nation.

Like always, we should look for the good and the learning opportunities in everything. In this particular situation, we can thank Ms. Cyrus for teaching us the importance of turning off the television and reading a newspaper or book. Thank you, Ms. Cyrus, for teaching us to be more fit and for showing us how to twerk and for demonstrating its importance in everyday life as a form of fitness.

Even though I have just demonstrated the benefits of twerking, I still prefer to hike and enjoy the great outdoors as my form of exercise.

So, this weekend, I promise to do my duty to our country and not watch MTV. Rather, I will spend time doing things that promote healthy living and learning. I will read the newspaper.

If you need me, I’ll be hiking on the trail performing my new art, trail-twerking.