Ten crazy headlines

From the surprising, to the horrifying, to the downright hilarious, here are 10 headlines from the past week that may raise a few eyebrows.

  1. How to drive through all 48 of the contiguous United States in 113 hours

This lovely map details the most efficient route through all 48 continental United States. (We’re sorry, Alaska and Hawaii). The upside? The route spends about seven-and-a-half hours in Utah, though there’s apparently no time to visit Ogden.

Source: 22 Words.

  1. Secret Service requests software to track social media trends, detect sarcasm

As anyone with a Facebook or Twitter account knows, the amount of stuff posted on these sites is staggering. The Secret Service is developing a program to sift through all that to find out about breaking news more quickly (since Tweets can move faster than earthquakes), and also track social media trends.

Among other things they want this program to detect? Sarcasm. Good luck with that.

Source: CBS

  1. Slender Man: the shadowy online figure blamed in grisly Wisconsin stabbing

Quite possibly the only thing more creepy than the internet meme Slender Man himself, is the fact that two 12-year-old girls stabbed one of their peers 19 times in the forest in order to “prove (themselves) worthy to the Slender.” Seriously. We’re not making this up.

Source: The Guardian

  1. Scientists just found the gene that makes us gay or straight

The “nature versus nurture” argument has raged on debates about homosexuality for decades, and while this may not completely lay the argument to rest, scientists now have preliminary evidence for a so-called “gay gene.” Actually, the article says that might not be the best name for it. “Male-loving gene” would fit better, since this gene that allegedly makes men gay also predisposes females to mate and raise children earlier.

Source: Washington Post

  1. Let him go! Japanese woman files to divorce husband because he doesn’t like Disney’s ‘Frozen’

In her own words, “If you can’t understand what makes this movie great, there’s something wrong with you as a human being.” While the sentiment is appreciable, the love of a film, even one as great as “Frozen,” shouldn’t spur something as life-changing as divorce.

The man actually holds a degree in Danish literature, so his opinion on the film, which is steeped in Scandinavian folklore and imagery, may be more nuanced than most. As they say, there’s no accounting for taste.

Source: Daily News

  1. World’s largest video game collection for sale

Michael Thomasson of Buffalo, New York, the holder of the Guinness World Record for the largest video game collection in the world, is selling his collection. Buyers should be aware that the auction ends on the 15th, and the highest bid so far is slightly less than $100,000.

Unfortunately for Michael, the collection is estimated to be worth more than seven times that.

Source: Sun News

  1. New laser device may be drunk driver’s worst nightmare

In the grand tradition of using lasers to solve every problem imaginable, Polish scientists have put them to use detecting drunk drivers. The lasers detect alcohol vapors in oncoming cars, which could alert police to potential DUIs.

Source: Huffington Post

  1. Two dead, three injured after trying to get woman’s cell phone out of toilet

The toilet in question was an open-pit, not the porcelain variety. The woman’s husband jumped in first after the cell phone, valued at over $300, and subsequently fell unconscious after struggling to breathe. The woman’s mother-in-law jumped in right after, and suffered the same fate.

Both were rushed to the hospital, but died before they could be resuscitated. Three neighbors, suffering similar injuries after trying to help, survived.

All in all, a rather crappy way to die.

Source: Mediaite

  1. State employees who allege supervisor hit them in groin awarded $25,000

The Transportation Cabinet supervisor Kevin Mcintosh said they were just horsing around when he delivered the fateful kick. The resulting pain from the kick, however, was probably anything but fun.

The $25,000 was part of a deal that absolved the Transportation Cabinet of any liability.

Source: WKYT

  1. People in Kazakhstan are falling asleep for six days at a time and no one knows why

Various inhabitants of a small village in Kazakhstan – just south of Russia – report spontaneously falling asleep during the day, and waking up as much as six days later in the hospital. This has struck various villagers over the past year, who also report hallucinations, memory loss, and other various maladies.

While uranium poisoning in the local water supply remains a prominent theory, scientists called in to investigate still aren’t convinced, since the sleeping spells seem to strike randomly.

Source: The Debrief