Putting the high in Ohio

A 22-year-old man called 911 earlier this month after he smoked too much weed. When officers arrived at the man’s house, they found him curled up on the floor in the fetal position surrounded by, “a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies.”

Officers also discovered a glass pipe with marijuana residue, rolling papers and a glass jar of pot in the man’s car. No arrests have been made.

Source: CBS News

Mac and cheese worth going to jail for

A University of Connecticut student is facing criminal charges after attacking a campus food court manager who was preventing him from buying bacon and jalapeno macaroni and cheese.

Luke Gatti was captured on video arguing and shoving the manager, who refused service to Gatti because he had an open container of alcohol. Gatti was restrained by food court employees until police arrived.

Gatti is due in court on Oct. 13 to face charges of breach of peace and criminal trespass.

Source: FOX News

Hey hey! Ho ho! Dildo!

With a new law set to take effect in Texas next August that will allow licensed gun owners to carry concealed handguns on college campuses, hundreds of students at University of Texas at Austin are preparing to protest the law with giant dildos.

Using the motto of “Cocks not Glocks,” the protest will occur on the first day of the 2016 fall semester and will have students carrying large dildos throughout the day.

The point the protest is attempting to make is that they believe their dildos will be as effective in protecting themselves from a campus shooter as concealed-carry handguns.

Source: mySanAntonio.com

Wasn’t my fault, the dog drove my car

You can now add leading police on a high-speed pursuit to the list of incidents that have been blamed on dogs.

A 26-year-old Florida man told police that it was his dog who was driving the car during a high-speed chase that ended with the car crashing into an occupied home.

The man ran from the crash but was later caught by police. Police reported that the man smelled heavily of marijuana and alcohol.

He is facing multiple charges including drunk driving. The dog has not been charged in the incident.

Source: TheRoot.com

Big cat too fat to breed

A male jaguar that had been loaned to a Delhi zoo in India has been returned home to its zoo in Kerala because it was more interested in food than mating.

The 12-year-old jaguar named Salman had been loaned to the zoo in Delhi a year ago with hopes that he would mate with their female jaguar Kalpana.

Instead, zookeepers say Salman is more focused on his meals than  Kalpana. Zookeepers said he is simply a lazy glutton who loves to eat and relax.

Source: BBC