Residents of Weber State University’s dorm have noticed their snacks mysteriously disappearing in the past weeks. There has been a series of incidents of students reporting missing ramen, half-eaten sandwiches, Doritos, gummy bears and even a full case of Dr. Pepper and other favorite sodas.
“One morning, I woke up, and my Oreos were just gone,” one Wildcat Village resident said. “At first, I thought I ate them in my sleep.”
The problem has been growing over time and has been very noticeable, especially this spring semester. Students are becoming frustrated as housing officials struggle to find a solution.
“I thought it was just my roommate stealing my food,” Jack, a University Village resident, said.
The situation has created a lot of confusion and resentment among the residents. Most of them felt extremely hopeless until last week when dorm security cameras captured the beloved mascot sneaking into fridges and rooms in the dark. Further review of the footage is needed, but it has been confirmed by the housing officials that Waldo the Wildcat had been opening refrigerators and stealing the best snacks from the dorm rooms.
Many dorm residents expressed mixed feelings about the situation. Some joked that it must have been part of the Weber State University experience, whereas others find it very hard to forgive Waldo.
As Waldo’s consequences were being discussed, housing officials said the university might have granted Waldo an unlimited meal plan. Some proposed the idea of permanently banning him from the dorms.
Resident assistants have tried to ease the situation by providing resources for students and reminding them about the importance of clearly labeling their food or snacks. They have also been working with residents to find the best solution.
Waldo, when confronted, simply shrugged and said, “A Wildcat’s got to eat!”
Waldo said he did not mean to hurt anyone’s feelings but was trying to spread the idea that sharing is caring.
As the situation remains unresolved, many dorm residents and other WSU students are left wondering if their food will ever be safe. Waldo undoubtedly brought some extra fun and trouble to campus.
This article is part of The Signpost’s April Fool’s 2025 issue. It intentionally violates the Society of Professional Journalists’ Code of Ethics “Seek Truth and Report It” principle, which states that ethical journalism should be accurate and fair and that journalists must take responsibility for the accuracy of their work. The information, quotes and events presented in this article are entirely fictional. In doing so, this piece deliberately disregards the expectation to verify information and avoid misleading audiences. The SPJ Code exists to ensure credibility, transparency and public trust in journalism. Ethical reporting helps maintain an informed society, making it essential that satire like this is clearly labeled.
