Abstract Academic 12-1: Oh, the places you'll maybe go!

Oh, the Places You’ll Maybe Go!

(Providing You’ve Successfully Completed Your Math General Education Courses)


Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

Assuming you’ve paid. . .


For those outstanding parking citations you got

‘Cause you parked with a “W” in too many “A” lots.

Then look up and down job sites, but look caref’ly, my man,

‘Cause you might end up plumbing in Uzbekistan.

Don’t be scared to be choosey! The job market’s hot

For that oboe performance degree that you got.


And if you should find that no orchestra’s hiring,

Get out in the open and do some perspiring.

Or go back to school and get more certifications!

The world needs more poets and theater technicians.




You’ll be on your way up!

You’ll soar to high heights!

As you travel in coach, where the seating is tight.

Middle management’s great for you young up-and-comers.

And who needs vacations, or resting in summer?


But wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best!

Unless it’s Des Moines, where you’re best of the rest.

And should you get lost in your career pursuits,

Or if some new Madoff makes off with your loots,

Consider which pyramid scheme to promote.

Or open a farm where you raise and milk goats.

Or start up a website! Or buy and sell stocks!

Or learn to make puppets from discarded socks!

Or try to get into reality TV!

(If P. Hilton does it, oh, then, why not me?)

Or easier still! Write new words for Seuss poems!

You can break grammar rules, just so long as you know ‘ems.


And will you succeed?

Yes! You will indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed. . .

Unless you’re a poet. In which case, you’ll need

An apron for waiting on tables. Godspeed!)