Five crazy headlines

From the bizarre to the hilarious, whoever said that “no news is good news” never read these headlines!

  1. Morgue erroneously ships corpse of Bronx grandmother to medical school, family enraged

As the Daily News commented, “It was a grave mistake.” Employees of a New York Bronx morgue accidentally released the corpse of Aura Ballesteros to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine so that students could study and dissect it.

Luckily, the corpse was not dissected. Students at the school embalmed her and the body was returned when the mistake was discovered. The family intends to sue and the morgue is taking measures to ensure this doesn’t happen again.

Source: New York Daily News

  1. Authorities remove live grenade from Pelham basement

A Pelham, New Hampshire, man was cleaning out his mother’s basement when he discovered an old canister used to store grenades. When he opened it, he discovered one grenade had its pin partially out.

He called authorities immediately and they shut down the intersection outside his home as the local bomb squad disarmed the grenade.

It’s hard to imagine how long the grenade was down there.

Source: WMUR, Manchester, New Hampshire

  1. FCC Chair Tom Wheeler says he is not a dingo

HBO’s John Oliver did a segment on net neutrality two weeks ago where he questioned the appointment of Tom Wheeler as the head of the FCC. In his words it was “the equivalent of needing a babysitter and hiring a dingo.”

Wheeler, speaking at an FCC meeting on net neutrality last week, attempted to clear up the situation. “You know, I would like to state for the record that I’m not a dingo… I had to go look it up, it’s a feral, wild animal in Australia.”

Though Oliver later clarified that he had never said the new chairman was literally a dingo, he expanded his earlier satire demanding proof of the chairman’s assertion.

Source: Consumerist

  1. Man arrested for allegedly stealing nearly 600 high school girl uniforms from 50 different schools

A 53-year-old resident of Mihama, Japan, was arrested last week for allegedly stealing hundreds of girl school uniforms. According to his own testimony, he started stealing them last year, intending to wear the uniforms himself.

The uniforms came from over 50 different schools spread across 12 prefectures, or counties. They were a mix of gym suits, cheerleading and volleyball uniforms.

Source: Yahoo News

  1. Woman graduates from high school at 111 years old

Lela Burden, an 111-year-old resident of Norfolk, Virginia, received her high school diploma Tuesday. Described by WKTR as “delightfully sharp,” Burden had celebrated her 111th birthday last May. “I’m still a young lady,” she said at the time.

Burden’s school closed down temporarily in 1918 due to the flu pandemic but she was already working two jobs at that time and didn’t bother going back when it reopened.

Until now. It’s never too late to finish your education.

Source: WKTR, Hampton Roads, Virginia