While Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a holiday reserved for couples, many single college students experience the day in ways that have little to do with romantic relationships. For them, Feb. 14 has become less about relationship status and more about celebrating the people already present in their lives.
Shifting the meaning of Valentine’s Day
For Carter Johnson, Valentine’s Day arrives each year with a familiar image: his father coming home with flowers for his mother.
“He will get her a really nice bouquet of flowers in a vase for my mom every single year,” Johnson said. “It’s a nice reminder of a good example of what I want to be when I get to that point.”
Johnson said watching his parents celebrate each other has shaped how he views the holiday, even during years when he is single. Rather than feeling excluded, he sees Valentine’s Day as a reminder of how love can be expressed in consistent, intentional ways.
Brynlee Randolph shared a similar experience, recalling how her father would make breakfast in bed for her mother every Valentine’s Day. Those traditions, she said, helped redefine the holiday beyond romantic expectations.
At times some may feel the social pressures of needing a romantic partner in order to enjoy the holiday. For some, Valentine’s Day is a time for family and getting to show and appreciate your love for them.
Classroom cards to college independence
Both students said their perspective on Valentine’s Day has changed over time. Johnson recalled elementary school celebrations filled with handmade Valentine’s boxes and candy exchanged among classmates.
“You’d pick your favorite candy and then you’d go and pass it around the classroom,” recounted Randolph.
That atmosphere shifted in high school, Randolph said, when Valentine’s Day began to feel more like a social benchmark.
“(It was) always like, ‘Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have a girlfriend?’” Randolph said.
Johnson said the pressure felt significant at the time but faded once he entered college.
“As I’ve grown up and especially out of school and more into my college and adult life, I think it definitely shifted,” he said. “It’s more of a celebration of your loved ones in general.”
Now, both students say Valentine’s Day feels less defining and more optional, a day that can be acknowledged or ignored without consequence.
Finding joy without romance
Rather than avoiding Valentine’s Day, Randolph said she has learned to be intentional about how she spends it. In recent years, that has meant choosing experiences that bring joy, whether that involves friends, family or familiar movies.
“Last year we did the movie ‘Anyone But You,’” she said. “Usually it’s something like ‘Mamma Mia.’ We just go hang out and have fun.”
Johnson said often it’s his parents that go and celebrate while he and his siblings spend time together.
“It’s really just a hang out and appreciate family kinda day,” he said. “The energy throughout the house is very warm and very happy.”
Both students said those quieter traditions have helped remove the pressure often associated with Valentine’s Day.
“Honestly, Valentine’s Day, I don’t really particularly care about all that much. I do love spending time with my family, and that’s really what we do for that,” Randolph said. “When I was younger, it would be like, ‘Oh, I’m so sad that I’m so single’. Then I’m just like, ‘Actually, no, I’m going to go out with my friends and hang out and go do fun stuff and watch movies and just overall have a good time with my people.’”
Opening the holiday to everyone
For siblings Kaylauna and Everett Malan, Valentine’s Day has always been a family-centered event. Each year, their mother hosts a Valentine’s dinner at their home, complete with handmade crafts and small treats.
For the siblings, their mom made Valentine’s day something to look forward to each year as she would make them something homemade.
Everett Malan said the tradition has made Valentine’s Day feel like a meaningful holiday rather than an afterthought.
The dinner is not limited to family. Friends are often invited, turning the holiday into a communal gathering rather than an exclusive celebration.
“Anyone can come over,” Everett Malan said.
That openness, Kaylauna Malan said, has shifted how she views the holiday altogether.
“A lot of people always view it as a partner holiday,” she said. “But it doesn’t have to be. It can be for friends.”
Carter Chapele, who has frequently found himself spending his Valentine’s Day with the Malans, said his own family keeps the holiday simple, usually sharing chocolate-covered strawberries. Spending the day with friends has helped redefine what the holiday means to him.
Meaningful moments beyond gifts
Students said that intention and shared experiences make Valentine’s Day memorable to them, not the material gifts.
Johnson recalled a recent shift when his mother began giving Valentine’s gifts not only to her husband but to her children as well.
“It made me have that shift of perspective of, I think I want to do something for my mom on Valentine’s Day,” he said
For Randolph, some of her most meaningful memories came from baking sugar cookies with her mother and decorating them for family members.
Redefining expectations
Rather than viewing Valentine’s Day as a reminder of what they lack, many students now see it as an opportunity to define the holiday on their own terms.
“Any holiday or celebration doesn’t have to mean just one specific thing,” Johnson said. “It can be open to interpretation.”
Randolph echoed that sentiment, encouraging others not to let expectations dictate their emotions.
“It’s a holiday,” she said. “You can spend time with your people.”
