Five crazy headlines

crazyHeadlinesFrom an unmade bed sold as a work of art to a man arrested for assaulting another for reserving seats in church, here are the five craziest headlines for this week!

  1. Retired US Marine claims he spent 17 years on Mars protecting five human colonies from martians

The retired marine, who calls himself “Captain Kaye” to protect his privacy, also claims to have served on a secret base on Saturn’s moon, Titan, in deep space.

After a 20-year tour of duty, he claims he was treated to a retirement ceremony on the moon. Also in attendance? Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

Just another reason to support our troops.

Source: The Daily Mirror, UK

  1. Kindergarten student in Utah beats entire school in spelling bee

The kindergartner, 6-year-old Kazim Ali, who reportedly spells on a seventh grade level, won Eastlake Elementary’s spelling bee after correctly spelling “sapphire.” Ali already knows over 600 words and has also memorized over 200 verses from the Koran.

I guess the game show “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” just isn’t ambitious enough.

Source: United Press International

  1. Tracey Emin ‘hopes’ bed artwork will go to museum

Getting out of bed never felt so good. Artist Tracey Emin is now selling her unmade bed, complete with trash and dirty sheets, in an auction as a work of art. The sale is naturally unprecedented, but it is expected to sell for up to 1.2 million pounds, or about $2 million.

The work of art supposedly captures the depression in Emin’s life after a break up in a relationship. She created the piece in 1999, and it was sold to art collector Charles Saatchi for 150,000 pounds in 2000.

This of course raises the age-old question of “What is art?” The answer, so far as we can determine, is “Who knows?”

Source: BBC News

  1. Assault over saved seats at Mormon chapel leads to jail sentence

Wayne Dodge, a 30-year-old man, pled guilty to a Class B Misdemeanor after an argument between him and a visiting family about reserving seats during the church service escalated into an assault in the parking lot. Dodge apparently punched the victim, and later ran into him with his car.

Dodge will serve 30 days in jail and will be on probation for a year.

Source: Deseret News

5. $500,000 returned after historic bank heist

One week after what may be one of the largest bank heists in Colorado history, a man walked into the same Denver Wells Fargo branch, returning a bag containing the stolen $500,000. The man, Mike Pellow, claims not to know anything about the case, but news sources say he might be keeping quiet to protect the robbers.

FBI agents investigating the case don’t believe the robbers, known locally as the “Trash Talking Bandits,” intended to return the money themselves.

Source: Newser